Some Thoughts

“The same gremlins that tell us we’re too busy to play and waste time fooling around are the ones that whisper:

* “One more hour of work! You can catch up on your sleep this weekend.”

* “Napping is for slackers.”

* “Push through. You can handle it.”

But the truth is, we can’t handle it.  We are a nation of exhausted and overstressed adults raising overscheduled children. We use our spare time to desperately search for joy and meaning in our lives. We think accomplishments and acquisitions will bring joy and meaning, but that pursuit could be the very thing that’s keeping us so tired and afraid to slow down.”  p. 100-101.

“What if we’re normal and quiet and happy? Does that count? I guess the answer to this is only yes if it counts to us.  If what matters to us is what we’re concerned about, then play and rest is important . If what matters to us is what other people think or say or value, then it’s back to exhaustion and producing for self-worth, Today, I choose play and rest.” p. 103

“If we stop long enough to create a quiet emotional clearing, the truth of our lives will invariably catch up with us.” p. 108

Overfunctioners tend to move quickly to advise, rescue, take over, micromanage, and get in other people’s business rather that look inward. Underfunctioners tend to get less competent under stress.” p. 109

(Taken from “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Dr. Brene Brown)

 

Taken from

The  Triumphant Marriage:

100 Extremely successful couples reveal their secrets by Neil Clark Warren.

1.  Dream! Dream!  Have a VISION for your marriage! Write it down, Post it on the wall.

2.  Get TOUGH!  A triumphant marriage requires 2 STRONG, SKILLFUL & THOROUGHLY      COMMITTED SPOUSES.

3.  MAXIMIZE TRUST:  Have COMPLETE FAITH in each other; have one another’s  back!

4.  BE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY.  See a therapist for past abuse, or relationships issues.

5.  Work on your chemistry–marriage is  A MARATHON-persevere and pace yourself.

6.  Learn to TALK AND LISTEN EFFECTIVELY.  Take a class, no one is a born communicator.

7.  Work Through your conflicts.

8.  Negotiate a mutually satisfying sexual relationship.

9.  Get connected (but not too connected) to your children, friends, and relatives.

10.  Be Spiritually Sensitive.

PREPARING TO CHANGE

1.  Refresh your memory: Change is worth the risk!

2.  Change takes TIME AND HARD WORK.

3.  FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS.

4.  Do MORE of what actually WORKS.

5.  DROP the BLAMING, AND ASSIGNING MOTIVES to your spouse-you aren’t them!

6.  FOCUS ON YOUR OWN SPEECH, ATITUDE, BEHAVIOR, AND BODY LANGUAGE.

7.  Be the FIRST ONE to change-Take the HIGHER ROAD.

8.  Try & work together.

9. BE PATIENT WITH your spouse and yourself–remember #2; plus it took awhile to get where you are.

10.  Don’t Expect Perfection.  Expect Effort-small, daily gestures of “I am trying”.

11. Look to God for strength to keep going.

12. Get specific: Make a list of “I would like” “I don’t want” “I am willing to” and share.

 

 

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